Forgive Me

Written September 10, 1992, This poem is part of my testimony. You can read part of the related story by clicking here.

Forgive Me

I know that you're angry and you're hurt,
Now that I've made my lie known to you.
I didn't do it to make you sad,
But because I believe you had the right to know what's true.

I had lived the secret for so long,
It had become a part of me.
I had been so deeply hiding my evil deed,
For fear of what might happen if you ever did see.

For such a long time I lived with the guilt,
As it slowly ate me up inside.
It was so hard to keep the secret,
Of how our baby really died.

I'm not sure which was worse,
The horror of what I'd done, or the fear of losing you.
I just know I wanted to die,
As my rock and hard place grew.

There is no fault in what happened,
Except that which is my own.
There were no easy choices, but I chose,
How things would be so different if the truth I had only known.

Abortion is just a nice word,
For the murder of an unborn child.
And the moment my abortion was over,
I knew it was our baby that died.

The deep regret I feel is a pain,
I hope you never hold in your heart.
Because even though it was our baby,
In her death only I took part.

You may now want to retaliate,
For the pain this truth's caused you.
But you can't cause more pain for me,
No matter what you say or do.

I know the truth of my responsibility,
I lived through all the guilt and pain.
And because I was the one that caused it,
I often thought I'd go insane.

But now I have taken my hurts to Jesus,
And asked Him to help me heal.
I'm so grateful for how He's showing me,
That His love and strength are real.

He's showing me He's forgiven me,
And that it's myself I must forgive.
I hope it's in your heart to forgive me too,
And together with healing we can live.

© Diana DePriest

Words

It's not just what they are, but how they are said,
That can send me spinning off inside my head.

Were they meant to wound, was it real?
Was that how they wanted to make me feel?

Their tone or inflection, can change it all,
Whether they move me on or make me fall.

They can be used to build or destruction bring,
They can lead to sadness, or cause the heart to sing.

They should not come out, one and the same,
To curse one You love, and to then praise Your name.

What can we do when the hurts they leave,
Cause one's heart to suffer and grieve.

I know Yours are sure, all of them true,
And that's why I long to commit mine to You.

To bring honor, glory and praise to my King,
With them joy, hope and life may they bring.

I love them each, I know their power is strong,
Please help me be wise and not use them wrong.

Whether written or spoken, help me beware,
That always use each one with love and with care.

By Diana DePriest
© October 10, 2008

"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Ephesians 4:29

"With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so." James 3:9-10

"Your word is very pure; therefore Your servant loves it. I am small and despised, Yet I do not forget Your precepts. Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, and Your law is truth. Trouble and anguish have overtaken me, yet Your commandments are my delights." Psalm 119: 140-143