Monday, October 13, 2014

I Can Choose.


I wrote this back in 1999 that still hangs on my wall at work. Actually, looking at the date I wrote it exactly 15 years ago yesterday. Anyway, today it caught my eye and I decided it was worth sharing.

I hope it brings someone a little encouragement.  



I Can Choose

I cannot control what I face in my life,
I cannot prevent all my struggles and strife.

But I do have a choice in what I do and I say,
And can control the choices I make along the way.

I can look at my circumstance and let it guide what I do,
Or Lord, I can choose Truth and stay focused on You.

I can choose to worry of what the future might bring about,
Or I can trust You today Lord without wavering in doubt.

I can react in emotion to the feelings I feel,
Or I can choose to stand firm on Your Word that is real.

I can choose fear, uncertainty, "what if's" or "may be's,"
Or I can choose You and Your Word and what forever will be.

I can choose Truth and all the peace that it holds,
And then stand secure no matter what circumstance unfolds.

For Lord, Your unchanging Word, it will anchor my soul,
And then no matter what I might face, I can stand whole.

Strengthened, assured, confident, standing firm in Your care,
I can choose You and Your Truth and find my hope there.

So Jesus, my Lord, it is You and Your Truth that I choose,
And in my choice I attain victory that I can never ever lose.

By Diana DePriest
© October 12, 1999.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

Ache

The burden of knowledge is great
You say "Look" but I do not want to see 
But what I see I say and it comes at a cost

The cost is grand
Speaking Truth 
It makes me untrustworthy
Why is that so?

Ignorance would be blissful
To not know
To have nothing to say
To be simple
Easy
Non-threatening
Not me

"Pray," they say
But it does not settle my soul
Injustice
Unfairness
Exclusion
I cannot stand to watch
To stand watch

It is easier now
Standing on the outside
But to watch others be pushed out
My own pushed
On the outside
Because they belong to me

Their ache is my ache
Their hurt is my heart
When they strive
I put myself in their path
I take the blow
I become the culprit

Because I see
What they cannot see
And though they hear
The Truth
They do not understand it

This broken world
The broken life
We broken people
We hurt
We hurt each other

I ache
My people ache
Your people ache
All of creation aches
For You

In our pain 
We wound
Wandering towards Home
But not really knowing the way
Longing for Your voice
So hard to hear

I wish that I did not see
Did not speak
Did not ache

But even more
I wish it for them

But it is not to be
For the longing is real
We are far from Home
Travel is wearying
The road is too long

Ache

Diana DePriest
© August 21, 2014








Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Battlefield Mind

Wandering thoughts, my mind's gone astray,
I find myself thinking back on a previous day. 
My mind gets cluttered with "how's," what's," and "why's,"
A longing to "see" what wasn't seen with my eyes. 
I'm weary of the battle to wrangle my thoughts,
Consumed with suspicions, "what if's," and "have nots."
Some days I'm clear, focused in the here and the now,
Then something happens and drags me back there somehow.
A dream or a memory brings back a face I've not seen,
Back into my present, making my focus unclean.
Where is the lock that will guard the door of my mind?
Where is the solution that I can't seem to find? 
Relentless the enemy, as he whispers at me,
"You'll never find hope; you'll never be free." 
"Always at mercy will you be to your past,"
"Any semblance of freedom, it won't truly last." 
He beats to weary my spirit, what shall I do?
"NO!" I cry out. "That just isn't true!"
"Whom," I declare, "the Son sets free is FREE,"
"Greater than you, is the One living in me!" 
TRUTH is my sword, it beats my enemy back,
I can stand up firm, survive his attack.
"Help!" I cry out to the God on my side,
"Be strong my child; hold to My Word," He replied.
"Pray it. Praise it, Treasure it in your heart,"
"For I'll finish the battle, your enemy thought he could start."
"Abide in My Word, and I'll abide in you,"
"Reject the deceiver's lies, hold to what's true." 
"You're Mine and I love you, nothing comes between you and Me,"
"Nothing and no one can rob you of your victory." 
"Your mind is a battlefield, and yes you're at war,"
"But you won't fight alone; I'll guard the door." 
"I hedge you in before and behind, have no fear of release,"
"You, focus right here, and I'll give you My peace."
"To this battlefield mind, you are not sentenced you see,"
For you're destined for victory, and your victory's in Me." 

By Diana DePriest
© January 30, 2013






Tuesday, August 21, 2012

A Psalm

No more difficult battle have I fought a foe,
Then the battle to overcome an embittered soul.
Like twisted in an impenetrable twine,
A true sense of freedom I cannot find.
I struggle and fight, try to get free,
But the anchor of the menace is rooted in me.
The facade of victory lulls my heart,
Then suddenly I find myself back at the start.
A memory, a picture, a word takes me back,
All my effort folds under the attack.
Like a belch from deep inside my soul,
The bitter root just stops me cold.
Where is my justice, Lord, where is what's fair?
Do You see my hurt? Do You even care?
The guilt of that query, for I know that You do,
It's my embittered soul that accuses You.
You alone are my Hope, for the freedom I seek,
Praise You, Your strength perfect when I'm weak.
I must rise again, in this battle press on,
Never give in til the bitterness gone.
Praise You, praise You, You are why I'll forgive,
For in Your forgiveness and grace I do live.
Love You, love You, it's why I long to be free,
For You came to birth Your grace inside me.
Lead me, lead me, You alone are the Way,
To destroy this bitterness on a soon coming day.
Holding, trusting, believing in Your Word,
Confident, certain, that my prayers have been heard.

A Psalm by Diana DePriest
August 21, 2012

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Untitled (For Fallout)

If you'll journey to the cross,
Where triumph meets despair,
You'll find that there beneath it,
The ground's badly broken there.

Heaven and hell went to battle,
For not both could have its way,
And the earth was forever changed,
When grace came down that day.

And there it left its mark,
When the foundation was moved;
For despite the fallout of the battle,
God's Word it had been proved.

So bring your burdens there,
Leave them on the broken ground.
Then quiet, still your soul,
Hear the song of hope resound.

The journey isn't easy,
But you won't be turned away,
Then allow the Lord to lead,
He'll lead you not astray.

Diana DePriest
June 12, 2012

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Disqualified

I feel disqualified.

I feel so stuck in hurt and in bitterness. I sincerely strive to move away from the past, and then the past moves toward me.

The new life I am trying to forge in a new place feels tainted.

It's like I'm tangled in a spider web and I'm flipping about spasmadically just trying to get unwound.

But people are watching that can't see the web, and I become consumed with what they must think.

About the crazy girl, dancing around and making a fool of herself.

But even the spiders have scattered.

I feel so alone.

Can't seem to get untangled from the past, can't move cleanly into the future.

Makes me want to just hide, cut the ties from the before, and not even aspire to an after.

Rejection is my companion. Rejection is the only consistency I know.

I know, but I don't say, but the ashes of their accusations blow into my life anyway. The ash leaves me filthy. The ash hinders my ability to breathe.

But they stay upwind from the fire they burn. I alone stand down wind.

Even those I traveled away with have moved on. Their new beginnings have all begun, they're moving on, settling in, I alone remain.

Filthy.

Disqualified.

Angry.

Bitter.

Alone.

Begging God to wash me clean.

The ash is a shame, but it's not mine, I didn't build the fire.

But still.

Surely I will not remain here forever but I fear it might be for always.

Until that Day.

No more tears.

Every knee bowed.

I bow mine now, by choice.

I hope a dangerous hope.

Perhaps.

Might I find a way?

May I bow low enough for the ash to finally blow by.

And not on me.

In Jesus' name.

By the power of the Holy Spirit alone.

Alone.

But today I am still covered.

Still filthy.

Still wondering if they think I'm crazy.

Just because they can't see the web.

By Diana DePriest
© February 16, 2012

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Alone

In the latest night hours, I feel so alone,
And into Your presence, I cannot seem to go.

So many questions and struggles in me,
I long for a place to simply be free.

Heaven it beckons, and pulls at my heart,
I feel stuck in a world where I have no part.

No heavenly direction or wisdom to guide,
I just want to run, just want to hide.

What can my witness to this world even be,
When I constantly struggle with just being me?

Not of this world, I know that that's true,
The desire of my heart is just more of You.

But Your presence is sometimes more than I can bear,
I feel so alone and can't sense that You're there.

The eternal's unseen, has no tangible touch,
My heart aches for something, I need You so much.

Show me my sin, have I pushed You away?
Is it me that has wandered, have I gone astray?

I've no sense of purpose, don't know what to do,
How do I help direct the world's eyes toward You?

I don't think I can, so consumed with myself,
Is that the reason I feel stuck on this shelf?

Dreams that once were are just burdens to bear,
I don't want to hope, I don't want to care.

My voice is growing weaker, no one wants to hear,
Nothing left to say, it's my growing fear.

My heart it hurts, I feel so alone,
And into Your presence, I cannot seem to go.


By Diana DePriest
© February 12, 2012